Ducked - The naked truth

Vacations took us to New Delhi every couple of years. Great time to meet cousins and an awesome time to be pampered by grand parents. I think grand parents instinctively know that the best way to pamper kids is with food. And Delhi is a great place for food as any Delhiite will attest – chola-bhaturas, gol-gappas, kababs, tikkas, butter chicken - I could go and on. Life in Delhi was bliss.

On one winter trip, I was around eight years old. My aunt and her kids had also descended into town and we had taken over grandmas home, pantry and peace. Pillow fights, Dark room, pillow fights in dark rooms, pillow fights in dark rooms with body tackles....Life was really good. Groups (Gangs) would form and the weaker (younger) ones would be bullied...oh the power of being older and stronger! Dictatorship ruled. Life was really really good!

While Indian parents are a pretty tolerant lot and go through a lot of sacrifices to pamper and spoil their kids, they also, I think have a breaking point. So, When our moms and grandma were reaching their breaking point with six rowdy kids in the house, they had a secret meeting ( this part is not true, I am just making it up for impact), they came up with a master plan that they would arrange for a trip to the zoo for the kids over the weekend. So far so good, but who would volunteer to play chaperone?....sorry no takers, zip, nada. So here is where the master plan came in. Get the neighbors' college going son to play chaperone - just pay for his zoo admission and food. The plan worked, the neighbors son fell for the trap, and off the seven of us ( Micky and the six dwarfs...oops kids) all packed up in our winter clothing, boarded the DTC (Delhi Transport Corporation) bus and were off to the zoo.

A thirty minute, uneventful bus ride later, we were at the zoo. We went wild ... The animals in contrast seemed tame and timid. Three hours went by very quickly, we did all the regular stuff kids do at a zoo...monkey with the monkeys, monkey with the lions, monkey with each other. Our escort Micky (a pretty cool and nice guy) held up pretty well. He made sure we stayed out of trouble. It was now nearing lunch time and how do you keep a bunch of foodies without food for over three hours?... So we all settled down near a pond with a fountain in it and a bunch of ducks. The packed sandwiches came out quickly and were devoured even faster. We had a few left over and so we decided to feed the ducks too. Here is when the fun starts, I was roly poly even as a kid. While feeding the ducks , I leaned over a bit too far and my centre of gravity shifted too far out and yours truly was in the pond with the ducks. Micky was quick and was able to catch me by my collar and pull me out safely; frozen and shivering and drenched to the bone. Things could have been worse, I did not know swimming, I could have drowned in the two feet of water!  Things would have been really bad then for Micky. He was worried, I was drenched in the biting Delhi winter and we did not have a change of clothes - we were at the zoo, not the beach! I was shivering from the cold and Micky from fear.

Fear and responsibility can get the creative juices flowing very quickly, Micky quickly got hold of me and rushed me into the nearby rest rooms. He got me to take off all my clothes ( in case you are wondering.....yes my underpants too). He peeled off his sweater and got me to wear it....brilliant.....the sweater was like a nice western dress, it came all the way to a few inches below my knee....ridiculous!....can you imagine what I was going through.....first you fall into the pond and the gang (cousins and siblings) has a riot laughing at your expense, then you are stripped down and clothed in a knee length sweater and no underpants! And now you have to travel with the snickering gang in a public city bus! Without underpants! Life was really bad now....at least for me, Micky was worried too. For the rest of the gang, life was great, they were having fun, with every glance and snicker of theirs, I felt more and more disrobed. The safest thing for me was to stand in the bus behind Micky and stare aimlessly out of the window. Just me and my bare thoughts. The co-passengers in the bus were a little more civil, they gave me a curious look-over and quietly looked away....small mercies!

When we got home, I was in a miserable shape, I was crying deep inside and shivering with cold and shame. The naked truth would soon be out. I teared up, Micky was a little better off than me, but the rest of them were having a blast. They each wanted to rush into the house first with breaking news - Manbir - ducked, disrobed and shamed in public! They were rolling on the floor in fits of laughter as each of them wanted to get their little part of the story in. I think it helped Micky and me, the elders also joined in the rejoicing , they did not give Micky a hard time, they appreciated and thanked him for managing the situation pretty well....I agree, things could have been much worse!.

Whenever we go out now, my wife carries a change of clothes for our daughter! I think I may have narrated this story to her when we got married.