Bugged Again

Bugs - They have a special affinity to me. 

This has got to be my craziest adventure, If you cannot handle a gory story, stop now! and don't click the link to the picture further down in the story.

About three years back, I had to make a a two day business trip to Harrisburg, Pennsylvania. I would be getting onto an early morning flight. I was up at 4 AM. I took our boxer dog for a short walk and left for the airport an hour later after packing and getting ready.

It was summer and pretty hot and muggy. I was upgraded to first class on my outbound flight, so I was able to catch up on my sleep. As I settled into a nap, I was woken up by a slight itch at the back of my right leg, just behind my knee. I ignored it and went back to sleep. I had flown into Baltimore because of lower fares to that airport and rented a car to get to Harrisburg. The itch came and went, I ignored it. The trip was largely routine and uneventful. The next day, one of my meetings got canceled, so I finished my work early and was able to get onto an earlier flight back to Atlanta. I was home at 4 pm. the itch had come back a few times during my trip and I  had ignored it. Now, when I was back home, and was relaxing with a cup of tea, my mind went to the itch, I asked my wife to take a look. She put on her glasses and checked it out. She was behind me, so I could not see her expression, but there was an eerie silence from her. “There is a weird bump and it has a strange pattern on it”. I heard a hint of alarm in her voice. Let me take a picture with my phone she said, the alarm still there in her voice. As she focused on the bump and started to take the picture, she “freaked out “ - it’s a bug and it has latched on to your skin. I asked her to just yank it off. I can’t!, it has burrowed into your skin, it’s half in and half out. Now it was my turn to be alarmed but I must confess, I was amused as well, mostly with dis-belief. She showed me the picture, and my alarm level climbed a couple of notches. 

We didn't waste any time heading to our friendly family doctor who accepted walk-in patients without an appointment. It was already closing time, Dr. Singh was on vacation that day. His standby Dr. Kumar was also heading out of the door but agreed to see me after my wife explained the situation and showed her the picture. The doctor was intrigued and I think excited in a sick way, she had never seen anything like that. She agreed with my wife that it was a bug, probably a maggot that was drilling into me. I was directed to the inspection table , belly down so she could look at it. Since it was past closing time, the rest of the staff had left and there was only a front-desk admin assistant besides Dr. Kumar. My wife was quickly enlisted as a nurse assistant by the doctor. Her job was to shine some light on the intruder with her phone flashlight. The scalpels came out and Dr. Kumar went to work. After a few pokes and  prods, she triumphantly said , "it is what we thought it was and it is alive!" Fifteen minutes later, the ad-hoc surgery was completed, I was cleaned, bandaged, injected with antibiotics and was handed the prized remains of the now murdered bug by Dr. Kumar. 

The bug had led a privileged life the last couple of days. It had a personal escort on its flight to Harrisburg, had a comfortable car ride and slept at a decent hotel and a flight back to Atlanta. It even flew un-ticketed, including first class on one segment. It was well fed on my flesh. But now the bugs two day sojourn had come to a bloody end. My wife asked Dr. Kumar - did you get all of it out? I hope so, she said. Keep an eye on the area for a few days , it you see anything unusual or if your husband develops a fever, get back in touch with us.

On the way back home, my wife finally asked me the most important question- how did it get there in the first place? I had no clue! After a couple of hours of speculation we settled on what seemed to be a logical explanation - when I took our dog for a walk in the dark that morning, I was wearing shorts and when Rocky went into the bushes for his business, the bug took a leap of faith onto the human leg nearby and latched on.

This episode left me scarred and with a question in my mind, I am still searching for an answer - Should one pay attention to minor irritants in life?

This is my second bug story - please read my first "bug" blog post titled  Doctor, Chef Or Archaeologist? Bug Off here.

Doctor, Chef or Archeologist? Bug Off

Road trips were a highlight in my childhood. One of the best things about my dad's job was that we got to go on road trips all the time. The official tours were often several days long and if we had vacations at school we would get to go along. We saw a lot of India and we got to experience it up-close, the diversity of cultures, religions and languages was fascinating. It had a major influence in my life; I think it made me tolerant, inclusive and adaptable. I learnt a few languages along the way and a lot of the regional cuisines became part of our regular cooking at home.

But let's get back to the trips. One trip in particular. We had gone to visit my sister who was in boarding school in Hazaribagh and we were on our way back to Jhumri Tilaiya (see my earlier post on this blog: Where is Jhumri Tilaiya?). It must have been around eight in the evening. I was sitting at the rear in our ambassador car and I had the window seat, a privilege which was available on a strictly first come first served basis amongst us three siblings. On this trip it was just me and my brother, so there was peace, we each had our window seats. My window was rolled down and I was enjoying the passing sights - the cattle, the villages, and the evening breeze. The tranquility was shattered suddenly when something from the outside came and lodged itself into my right ear. I was in pain and in tears. The insect, that turned out to be the size of a beetle, had no way to get out. It was trapped in a human ear and I guess bugs cannot fly backwards; it was a one way street! We were both shaken up and confused and in pain. The more the insect squirmed, the more I did in pain. I was now hysterical. My dad quickly pulled the car into a nearby roadside Dhaba. For a moment, I forgot my pain; the aromas of the Dhaba food over powered my senses. I wish we had stopped at the Dhaba under totally different circumstances.

I was quickly carried out of the car and put onto a charpai in the Dhaba. The flashlight from a trucker came in handy and it was discovered that the foreign object lodged into my ear was a bug, it was alive and kicking (now I know where that phrase comes from)! The Dhaba was just outside a village and thanks to the resourcefulness of the folks at the Dhaba; the local doctor was summoned from his home. In what seemed to be an eternity to me and the bug, but must have about fifteen minutes, the doctor arrived on his bicycle. I think this was not the first time that this doctor had dislodged a bug stuck in the aural chamber of a kid. He quickly assessed the situation and almost immediately had a game plan. He asked his ad-hoc nurse (the Dhaba cook) to heat a spoonful of oil; I screamed louder, the bug squirmed harder! Four people caught me and pinned me down on the charpai, the bug anyway was pinned, and the doctor took the spoon of hot oil and started pouring it drop by drop into my EAR! He had turned into a chef! He deep fried the bug right there in my right ear! A new culinary discovery! If this made it onto the menu of a restaurant, the description would be something like this

"A live bug fried crisply to perfection in the aural cavity of a kid by pouring one drop of hot oil at a time, thus preserving the integrity of each limb of the bug and the hearing of the kid."

The misery of the bug was put away quickly, but how about me? I screamed, kicked and squirmed harder. I had heard of 'from the frying pan into the fire' but this was "from the frying pan into the ear" (it does rhyme).

The doctor turned chef, turned archeologist, opened his bag and pulled out a small pair of forceps and a very dangerous looking long, pointy implement. I could see all this from the corner of my eye, I could not move much, since I was still pinned down, but I could scream, so I did - louder than before. I wonder now, did the bug have it better than me? My ordeal just went on and on. The archeologist went to work; carefully positioning his “cold as steel” implements on my ear lobe and readied himself to go after the treasure. He had a perfectionists desire to extricate his culinary creation in one piece. I must say he achieved it brilliantly, because the minute he put it on the palm of his hand my concerned parents and the curious onlookers quickly completed a visual audit and in unison confirmed that all the limbs were indeed intact! The attention quickly shifted from me to the doctor, no chef, no archeologist; he was a hero that night and I wonder if his children and grand children got to ever hear this story from him.